Not long ago I was asked to write something that was a bit out of my comfort zone (right now it seems writing in general is out of my comfort zone because it's been a while since I've done it with any regularity). This was a genre and style that I didn't have a lot of experience with, but I really felt God nudging me to give it a shot.
Of course no sooner than I said yes did the doubts come flooding in…maybe someone else is better equipped to write what is needed…what if I didn't do a good job…what if it wasn't what they were looking for…and on and on.
For the next few weeks when I wasn't staring at the flashing cursor on the computer - frozen, I was honing my procrastination skills. And these are not skills that need help even under the most ideal circumstances. I mean I can find the most unnecessary task and elevate it to levels of national importance to delay what I know will be inevitable failure.
But God has this funny way of telling me what I need to hear exactly when I need to hear it. I happened to be studying women in the Bible and their individual fights for faith during my morning Bible study time. In each situation, the women had their doubts but God bolstered their faith and used them for His purposes. So I fervently began to pray that God would do the same for me.
One Sunday afternoon I somehow managed to push everything else aside - the dishes in the sink, the laundry piles in the hall, the hungry teenagers - and sat down with my Bible and the computer determined to put something on paper. And the flood gates opened - characters were developed, themes were woven, and stories were told. And none of it was me…
When I finished I was still quite reluctant to share with others, but I gave it to my resident editor to review. (There are advantages of having a high school senior who is potentially looking at writing as a career. And I wasn't sure what to expect because he is not one to hold back what he really thinks.)
So when he came back and said he liked the way I had modeled the characters after such and such, I honestly had chills. I simply nodded - because what he noted hadn't even entered my mind until that moment. It was just more proof that God was doing the writing.
It's very easy for me to believe that my gifts and talents aren't enough. And they aren't in my own strength. But when I'm obedient to God's calling, He can work it all to His glory despite my overthinking and insecurities.
Now may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus - the great Shepherd of the sheep - with the blood of the everlasting covenant, equip you with all that is good to do His will, working in us what is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ. ~ Hebrews 13:20-21